Clash at the Supermarket
by bookworm431
Summary: When Harry and Ginny meet up with Petunia and Dudley at the muggle supermarket, the outcome is always uncertain!
1. The Meeting

Damn it. Damn Harry and his stupid idea to live in a muggle neighborhood. Damn my father for encouraging it. And, above all, damn this annoying muggle supermarket. Damn it all down straight to the deepest corner of hell. I thought viciously as I stalked down an aisle at a muggle supermarket.

Harry and I had gotten married a couple of years after the war and, during a period of serious lack of judgment, he suggested we live in a muggle neighborhood. And I, in my stupid love struck phase, agreed wholeheartedly. Damn it! I thought again.

Now, all we really needed was toothpaste and milk, and the fact that I couldn't find any toothpaste was not helping my mood.

Then, I saw a large bottle with dark green liquid in it. It looked a lot like poison. I picked up the bottle and read the label. Listerine? I thought, alarmed, That does sound like poison! Turning over the bottle, I read the instructions. Ohmygosh, what are they doing selling this in a supermarket! I was panicking so much, I didn't even notice the person walking towards me.

Dudley Dursley was accompanying his mother to the supermarket. He really wasn't doing anything wrong. He was just sick of looking at all the cakes and brownies and cookies and pies, when his mother wouldn't even let him buy any of them. She's all on him to try and find a girlfriend, maybe she shouldn't starve him. It's all her fault! The ladies want a hefty, strong man! No girl would like a specky, scrawny little boy. Like Harry. Dudley never understood why his parents never liked Harry when he was younger. He just liked picking on him. Dudley chuckled, thinking about what Harry must be doing now. He didn't really have any friends, and definitely not a girlfriend. That is, Dudley thought, sobering up, If he's not dead.

He turned an aisle and saw a pretty girl with red hair; she looked about his age. Might as well try and get a girlfriend now, Dudley thought, exasperated, Maybe Mum would give me some food then.

He walked up to the girl, who was holding a bottle of Listerine and staring at it with a mixture of confusement and horror. "That's Listerine," he offered helpfully.

"Umm, yeah," she said, looking flustered. Well, yeah, Dudley thought proudly, turning on the charm. She placed the bottle back on the shelf and asked, "Do you work here?"

"If that's what turns you on, baby," he said, leaning on the shelves.

"Are you… hitting on me?" the girl asked, looking confused and… angry?

Before Dudley could say anything, someone else turned into their aisle. Someone with dark hair and emerald green eyes, tugging a small boy, of maybe two, who had bright red hair, along with him. "You're going to have to specify about the milk, love," the man said, his eyes on the shopping list, "There are, like, twenty different kinds."

Then, he looked up and saw Dudley. Dudley gasped. It was Harry! Harry's eyes widened when he recognized Dudley and he let go of the infant's arm and hurried over to the girl, sliding an arm around her waist and pulling her back towards himself, saying, "Dudley. What are you doing here?"

Before Dudley could say anything, the red haired girl pulled out of his arms to turn and look at Harry. "Wait, this is your cousin?" she asked him, gesturing towards Dudley. Dudley drew himself up proudly, but deflated as she said, "So I could have cursed him? Damn it, why does no one tell me this?" The girl's eyes flashed and she looked seriously angry. "It would have been a lot easier!" Then, she suddenly broke down and started tearing up, "A-and" she choked, "I can't find any toothpaste!" she wailed.

Harry wrapped his arms around the girl as she sobbed into him shoulder, and deftly picked something off a shelf. "Look, love," he said brightly, "I found the toothpaste!" Almost immediately, the girl brightened up and snatched the toothpaste from his hands, placing it lovingly in the shopping cart. Harry sighed, then looked at Dudley. "Ginny," he said, introducing them, "this is my cousin Dudley. Dudley, this is my wife, Ginny."

I gaped at him. "Wife?" I asked, astounded, "But, you're only, like, twenty-two? You can't be married at twenty-two!"

"Well, you can't live with your parents at twenty-two, either," the girl snapped waspishly, "But you've already proved that wrong. And, besides, Harry is twenty-three, not twenty-two. If you were any kind of cousin, you'd remember that. He lived with you for God's sake!"

"And to think, I asked you out!" I burst angrily. No one had ever talked to him like that.

"Ginny, are you okay, love?" Harry asked tiredly, "You've been awfully cross late- hang on" he looked at Dudley suspiciously, "You tried to ask my wife out?"

Dudley was kind of frightened at the look on Harry's face. "Well, I didn't know she was your wife," he defended meekly. Luckily, he didn't have to say much, since his mother arrived.

"Diddykins," she said absentmindedly, rummaging through her purse, "Are you quite ready to go?" Then, she looked up and saw Harry and a pretty red-haired girl standing next to Dudley. "Oh!" she said, as she saw Harry, "It's you." She wrinkled her nose. Her eyes brushed over Harry to rest on Ginny, and she said, "If you want, we can bring your friend over for lunch as well! What's her name, Dudley?" Petunia could not imagine why Harry looked so furious.

"Ginny," Dudley mumbled, staring at the ground.

"Well, nice to meet you Ginny," Petunia said, smiling at her.

"Ginny Potter," the girl said briskly, smiling sweetly back at her. Petunia's smile fell as she looked from the girl to Harry, who was still looking angry. "Harry, dear," Ginny asked him, "Where's James?" Harry stopped glaring suddenly and started looking around wildly. He ran up the aisle and returned pulling the small boy along with him. Ginny shook her head. "I give him one job," she said to the Dursleys conversationally, "And he not only manages to mess that up, but he also goes and loses our son!" Harry mock glared at Ginny as he joined them.

"Well," Petunia said flustered, "I guess, we really must be leaving."

"Well, actually," the girl said loudly, "I think we might actually take you up on that lunch offer you gave us. See, we just moved to this neighborhood, and we're still adjusting. And I really did not inherit my mother's amazing cooking skills. It'd be nice to meet the rest of Harry's family, right Harry?" She looked at Harry pointedly as he agreed weakly.

"Well, I don't think-" Petunia stopped talking at the look on Ginny's face. "Well, okay then," she said, sounding unsure, "We'd love to have you over."


	2. At Privet Drive

To say that the drive back home wasn't awkward was to say that the Pacific Ocean wasn't big. The only people who made a sound were Ginny and... James. As Harry stared out the window, Dudley stared down at his hands, and Aunt Petunia stared stonily straight at the road, Ginny was making baby noises at James, who shrieked and laughed every time.

When they arrived at number 4 Privet Drive, Harry almost cringed when he saw the house again. Ginny glanced at him worriedly before handing James to him and following Petunia and Dudley into the house.

When she entered, she saw Vernon and she almost gagged. Harry wasn't kidding when he said that the man was larger than a walrus!

"And who is this?" he said, leering at her. Ginny tried not to gag. Where was Harry?

"She's staying for dinner," Petunia said disapprovingly before disappearing into the kitchen. Ginny thought that she might as well be friendly.

"Hello," she said, extending her arm, "I'm Ginny Potter."

Almost immediately, Vernon retracted his arm, his small eyes widening in surprise.

"Well, then," Ginny huffed, "That's rude."

Before Vernon could say anything, Petunia cut in and said, "They're staying for dinner, Vernon." As Vernon realized what she meant by 'they're' Harry walked it, pulling his tousled hair from James's grip.

"You!" Vernon bellowed, "What are you doing here?"

Harry laughed, almost mockingly, "Your wife invited me."

Vernon spun around to look at Petunia, who looked to the floor. "I only invited the girl," she said.

"And, as she's my _wife_," Harry cut in, "I have the right to follow her. Why else would I want to come back here? Because my wife wanted to!" Harry laughed bitterly. "I mean my best memories in this house took place right here," He smacked the door to the cupboard under the stairs.

As soon as Harry said that, he regretted it, and he spun around to gauge his wife's reaction. She looked calm... so Harry shielded himself for the explosion.

"Harry," she said slowly, "What did you say?"

"W-well," Harry stammered, "I-I said-"

"I KNOW WHAT YOU BLOODY SAID!" she shouted, cutting him off, "YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT THE DURSLEYS! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU NEVER TOLD US!" Before Harry could find a way to appease her, she turned on the Dursleys, yelling, "AND YOU! HOW COULD YOU? HOUW COULD YOU KEEP HIM IN THERE? HOW COULD YOU TREAT A LITTLE BOY LIKE THAT? NO WONDER HE WAS SO RESERVED ALL THE TIME! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR US TO CONVINCE HIM THAT PEOPLE STILL CARED ABOUT HIM? I SHOULD-"

She broke off suddenly, looking at something in her pocket, and said, "Uh-oh."

"What? What is it?" Harry said worriedly.

Ginny looked at him sheepishly. "Weeell," she said slowly, "You know how I always carry around that fake galleon Hermione gave us way back when?" At Harry's tense nod, she continued, "Well, I sometimes activate it accidently, when I'm angry or scared."

Harry's eyes widened. "But don't worry!" she told him cheerfully, "Only the people really close to us are going to show up! The signal won't reach the other people."

Harry groaned and sat down heavily.


	3. The Confrontation

The first to arrive, in only a few seconds, were Draco and Hermione. They apparated into the room and quickly drew their wands.

"Oh, it's only Harry's Aunt and Uncle," Hermione sighed, stowing her wand away.

Draco, however, kept his wand trained on them. "Scarhead's Aunt and Uncle?" he growled, "Can I curse them?"

Hermione looked aghast. "Draco, no!" she shrieked, "They're just muggles! What did they ever do to you?"

Draco's eyes didn't leave the Dursleys, who looked fairly frightened. "It's not what they did to me, Hermione," he told her, "It's what they did to-"

He was cut off as Harry rugby tackled him to the ground. The pair landed with an oomph in front of Hermione's startled eyes.

"You said you wouldn't tell anyone!" Harry growled at Draco, before letting him up and hauling him to his feet.

"Fine," Draco glared at him.

"Wait, you know about whatever this is about?" Hermione demanded, "What has you and Harry all worked up and what put Ginny into shock?" She waved towards Ginny who was sitting stonily on the sofa, staring at Draco in disbelief. Draco just nodded. "Well, tell me, then!" Hermione almost screamed, "I mean, you know how much I need to know things! How did Harry tell you but not me?"

"Well, we had some kind of heart-to-heart," Draco said bitterly as Harry grimaced, "You know, one abused child to another."

Hermione winced. It was no secret that Draco's father treated him like dirt. After watching Lucius hurl curses and insults at a helpless Draco, no one dared mention his terrible childhood. Especially Draco. Draco looked extremely uneasy after his outburst and he stepped away from the spotlight, pulling out his newspaper and unfolding it. Then, Ginny spoke up.

"You-you knew?" Ginny whispered. At Draco's stiff nod, she turned on Harry, looking furious. "HARRY! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT ALL THIS! YOU TOLD DRACO, BUT NOT ME?" She launched herself at him and started crying into his chest and Harry wrapped his arms around her, looking bemused. Then, she pulled away and yelled, "I AM YOUR _WIFE_! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU NEVER TOLD ME! THAT'S IT! I WANT A DIVORCE!"

Harry looked alarmed as he stammered, "W-what?" The Dursleys looked on with a mixture of smug-ness and amusement.

Hermione rushed forwards, wrapped an arm around Ginny's shoulders, and smiled warmly at Harry. "Don't worry, Harry," she smiled knowingly, "It's just the hormones."

"Oh, yea," Ginny beamed through her tears, "I forgot to tell you Harry. I'm pregnant."

"W-what?" Harry looked faint, but still fairly pleased.

"Hey!" Draco exclaimed from behind his newspaper, "They released the new SkyRocket 2400 today!" Ron's eyes widened and he raced over to Draco to look at it.

"W-what?" Harry shouted, turning to Draco, looking excited.

"Honestly," Hermione rolled her eyes, "Don't take it too personally, Ginny," she told the girl, "I'm sure Harry's really excited. It's just-"

"Well, of course he is!" Ginny cut her off happily, "The SkyRocket 2400! Do you know that's supposed to go from 0 to 80 in two seconds?" Hermione rolled her eyes again.


End file.
